Today I am writing from the deep dark crevices of my mind, not in a melancholic kind of way, there is much light around and inside of me but in a humble frame of mind. Life has humbled me in so many ways. We are a generation which is absorbing all that which is coming through the internet. We accept anyone’s half-baked idea or thought as the truth and sometimes we internalize so many beliefs and random quotes spewed across our way through the web of social media that we slowly start acting the act and walking the walk and halfway we get affected by yet another ‘social thought fad’ and start structuring our beliefs around it. In the midst of all this we forget who we were before being injected by all the social Botox and fillers. We then shut ourselves off from this world to figure out what is going on inside of us. At first we get irritated then impatient and finally convince ourselves that it’s not them but us. We get back on the social bandwagon and get hit by a new wave of ideologies and attitudes and opinions and we falter once again. Why? because we get overwhelmed by what is outside of us when the inside is literally rotting away in confusion, desperation and pride.
Social thought fads are many. In recent times my observation has been largely on the fad of self-love and self-worth. Oh God, it makes me want to puke. These new age philosophies of ‘I love myself’ ‘I believe in myself’ ‘I respect myself’ have constricted people to their own restricted selves. They are so busy in giving love, respect to their own selves that they have forgotten the art of receiving love from others. They think they are doing such a good job at loving themselves when in fact they have forgotten the joy of giving love to others. Imagine running inside a closed room for hours, it will drive you mad. Sadhguru has explained this so well. He says: “To love to believe to respect you need two. If you have become two within yourself then you’re heading for madness.” If people are really benefiting from self-love as they claim why is depression and anxiety and other mental illnesses on the rise in today’s world? Why are we getting aloof and depressed as a nation? Let’s re track back to why do we all feel the need to have self-love? What do you actually mean by this and what actions do you take to fulfill this? No matter how much love we give to ourselves don’t we feel much better when we help out someone? Or learn something of value from someone? Or appreciate the small acts of kindness from others? Or just feel in awe when we take refuge in nature and marvel over the universe and of our tiny presence in it? All this happens because we are open to learning, sharing, moving forward by looking up to others. You glorifying yourself and feeding your ego will inflate your presence so much that you can’t see anyone else in the equation of life. Correct me if I’m wrong but never have I read by any Prophet that you must love yourself. I have read: love for your brother what you love for yourself; which I think is pretty self-explanatory. You are you even if someone hates you or loves you, your core won’t change. If the external reality and influences tend to over power you it is because inside you are still weak. You get toppled over by one nasty remark and start blaming yourself and questioning your worth. To fix this someone tells you need to love yourself. You take yourself to spa and movie dates, you cosy up in your home reading novels, you shut yourself off from everyone thinking that you’re being healed and fixed with this generous dose of self love when along comes one phone call and some dear friend or relative yet again passes a nasty remark and you feel all those feelings creeping up again which you thought were fixed. You are left shocked and mildly amused. This self love was supposed to make you feel better and stronger then what went wrong? Ah the inner. The inner is not growing since you haven’t left open any window from where sunshine can peep in. Its like you’re doing the best skin care routine with expensive gels and masks and what not but aren’t eating a good enough diet to keep your skin clean from the inside. So what to do? Stop being a slave to your desires and wishes. Stop being a slave to everything you see outside and stop running in this mad race of competition of having a bigger home, better job, better lifestyle just because you think it will define you and your worth. Why do you want to even prove your worth to everyone around you, even to your self? If God has made you and bought you on this earth and then fashioned earth in such a way which benefits you from every angle, yet you seek to find your value and respect from others? You burden yourself with unnecessary responsibilities and engage in fruitless displays of wealth and success just because others might notice your worth and respect you. It’s like a fish who dies in the ocean asking where is the water? It’s time we wake up and realize who we really are when we remove our titles of : mother, sister, daughter, wife, job profession or any identities we have and then see what remains of us. Try uncovering this, it is not an easy process. Ego shattering has never been a easy thing to do anyways. When all your false beliefs and idols (which can be your desires and wishes) will fall, only then you can erect something stable which leads towards permanency . When you will start from the scratch or zero level you will feel like an eager learner and observer of this life. Life will fill you with so much joy and gratitude. Then you will really taste ‘love’ and all the intangible things like compassion, generosity, mercy, forgiveness and so on. Try removing the self i.e. I and then see the world with a new vision. All the useless energies will fade away and you will feel complete and whole as a person without putting up a spectacle of yourself for the world to clap for you.